First Generation Learners in Higher Education: Tales of Shame and Privilege

Abstract

I am a first generation learner (FGL) in higher education (HE). A FGL is a student who is the first person in their family to attend HE. Academia presents FGLs as students who are defective. FGLs are often defined in the literature as students that lack cultural capital and fail in academia due to their personal, cultural and social deficits. The underlying and insidious message in much of the research around FGLs is that they do not belong in academia. FGLs are depicted as the square peg and the academy as the round hole. In order for FGLs to ‘fit into’ HE, we must submit to a shaving off of our values, beliefs and cultural norms. HE’s propensity to view FGL students in a deficit model has fortified HE’s ability to maintain the systemic barriers and privilege that surrounds HE. This thesis will explore HE’s systemic barriers and the academic culture of privilege by connecting HE’s oppressive practises to an institutional sense of cultural privilege, classist approaches and marginalization of FGLs. As an FGL, I am situated within this narrative. As a result of my situated perspective, ontology and knowledge production, this thesis is written in the first person. By the same token, in order to honour my positionality as researcher and subject, this thesis is written from an evocative autoethnographic methodology. Evocative autoethnography recognises the researcher as an insider and primary participant. This methodology inspires me to bare my soul and share my experiences in the hope that you catch a glimpse of yourself or those you know. I invite you to journey with me and explore my traumas and triumphs this FGL has experienced in HE.